{The Arrival of Finn Aloysius: Our Birth Story}

As I'm sitting here trying to think of where to even begin, I find myself getting emotional as it's already been a week since our gorgeous little human made his debut. A WEEK! All of that anticipation and waiting around that felt never-ending is gone, and now I'm just trying to soak up every single second of every day. I know I'm a newbie...but being a mother is magical. Seeing my husband's fatherly instincts arise out of nowhere, is magical. Seeing this little tiny human and remembering that just last week he was contorted into a little ball inside of me...is magical. It's all just so beautiful and I could probably just gag you all with the amount of mushy-ness and love I have pouring out of my heart and soul right now. But, there will be plenty more posts on that so for now I'll spare you and get to the best day of our lives.

If you've been following our little blog throughout this pregnancy, you'll know then that I wanted nothing more than a natural, un-medicated birth. However, I was realistic with myself in knowing that things don't always go to plan, especially when it comes to birthing. I, in fact, did everything in my power throughout my pregnancy to prepare for a natural delivery. From teas to yoga/meditation to eating unpleasant things, I was sure that though I knew things don't always go to plan, that for some reason I was excluded from that notion...and that things would just go the way that I wanted. Because hey, I was devoted to the idea! Well, things didn't necessarily go the way we expected, to say the least.

It all started on Monday, May 25th (Memorial Day!). I woke up at 3 a.m. to some pretty nifty contractions that just felt different from the usual Braxton Hicks I'd been having in the weeks prior. We were already overdue and at this point every little pain and tingle was IT in my mind. Little to my surprise these contractions were quite consistent, consistent enough for me to begin tracking them.  5 a.m. rolls around and contractions are now like clock-work, 7 minutes apart and increasing in intensity; not to mention, some bloody discharge. Ohhh boy, it's go time! I decided to jump in the shower and gather our bags. Another hour rolls by and sure thing, these "intense" contractions start lessoning in intensity...by 10 a.m. they were about 20 minutes apart. Dammit. This was not it. John and I went on about our day, getting brunch on the water and walking our hearts out with the hopes of again triggering those contractions. I had them on and off throughout the day, but they were in no way consistent any more. Another night rolls around and John and I hit the hay, accepting the fact that our little guy would let us know when he's ready.

11:30 p.m.- May 25th- "JOHN!!" FINALLY, a sure tell sign, my water had broken! Not only did it break...it exploded. Water was erupting out of me uncontrollably and I didn't know whether to laugh because of the mess I was making, or cry because of the contraction that was accompanying the explosion at the time that about brought me to my knees. This, was it. We knew that meeting our baby boy was only hours away...my heart was bursting. John phoned our doctor and my mother while I gathered the rest of our things.

12:15 a.m.-May 26th- We immediately went to the hospital as my contractions were hitting fast and hard. I jumped in my gown and was just so ready to take on this major task! As sick as it sounds, I was excited about the pain...I welcomed it, because I knew that it meant I'd get to meet my much anticipated baby so very very soon. My momma met us there and us three got comfortable in the room we'd be able to meet sweet boy in (so I thought). As I said, contractions were hitting pretty hard. They were less than 5 minutes apart and intense enough from the beginning to where I quite literally couldn't speak when one came on. John, bless his heart, absolutely hates seeing me in pain, so naturally his anxiousness was starting to come out. He sat on the couch in our room and just talked to me, encouraging me through each one with "you're doing so great sweetie." My mom was the one bearing my hand squeezes and rubbing my back. I pulled out my positive affirmations and said them over and over again in my head as each contraction approached. "You can do this, the pain is not greater than you, because it is you." I was feeling pretty nauseous during each one as well, to the point to where I was gagging pretty frequently.  My nurse came in and asked if I'd like medication for the nausea and pain...."No. I'm okay." I was lying on my side and as the next contraction approached...barf. Straight through my nose and all over the bed. John frantically tried to fetch a puke pan but by then it was too late, I was a mess. Not to mention I felt like I was just consistently peeing myself from all the fluids coming out down there. I mean I expected labor to be messy, but whoa. After cleaning up a bit I decided I needed to move around. John, my momma and I went for a little stroll around the L&D floor, there was only one other woman there with me at the time so it was incredibly quiet. Good thing, because right as we were approaching our room again, I leaned up against the wall and the intensity of the contractions and again....barf. This time it was pretty violent puking. My poor nurse. I told her that I felt like I was going to shit myself as well and at the moment I didn't have the energy to make it back to the room. Thank goodness my dignity was slightly spared as that didn't end up happening.

4:00 a.m.- May 26th- By this time I was contracting about every 3 minutes and starting to get the urge to push. Surprise #1: I felt another huge gush of fluid coming out of me, looked down, and my heart sunk. Meconium. The little stinker decided to take his first poop right inside of me. I couldn't help but panic a little...I've heard horror stories of long hospital stays and the dangers little humans face when they let their stuff fly before exiting the ole' womb. My nurses came in right away and did another cervix check. Surprise #2: "Baby has gone breech." My baby who had been head down for a majority of this pregnancy had at some point flipped himself around. It wasn't even minutes before my team walked in all scrubbed up, and with paperwork for me to sign on needing an emergency C-section. I couldn't even wrap my head around what was happening...it was all so quick. All I knew is that I was terrified. I hadn't prepared for this...I had prepared for a natural delivery. That's it.
I wanted nothing more than to feel the might of creation move through me. I felt like Elizabeth Banks in the movie "What To Expect When Your Expecting" (which I had watched 100+ times), "But this isn't a part of my plan!" I didn't say that of course, in fact, I didn't say anything at all. My husband and my mom knew I was terrified, all I had to do was look at their faces that just read "I know you're scared but everything will be okay," and I lost it. John was right by my side and reminding me of what we were going to have at the end of all of this. He was right. Who am I to be so selfish and get angry at how our little human was deciding to make his entrance? At that moment my anger subsided, but the fear really didn't. Next thing you know John's all geared up for surgery too. We made our way into the OR and John had to wait in the hall until I was all prepped. Great. Alone at a time where I needed my husband the most. The spinal went in while I buried my head in fear on one of my nurses' shoulder. Next thing you know, I don't feel a thing. All I could focus on was the fact that the upper half of my  body felt like it was having a grand mal seizure. I was shaking uncontrollably, but apparently that's normal after having a spinal. "Alright, bring dad in. Are you ready?"

 5:20 a.m.-May 26th- "Congratulations, he's beautiful!" I wanted so desperately to see but there was a stupid sheet obstructing my view of this beautiful baby. I looked up at John and he was just smiling ear to ear. I wanted to scream/cry/laugh...such a rush of every emotion your body is capable of feeling ran through me. "8lbs, 4oz, 19 inches!" the nurses yelled. Man did our Finn have some pipes too, he was just a screamin'! I want to see I want to see I want to see. Finally, they brought him over to me and laid him next to my head. He was so beautiful. He was beautiful and he was healthy and he was ours. Perfect little nose, perfect little lips, everything daddy except for one ear that stuck out, just like mommy. I wished I could have stared into his baby blues longer, but both he and John had to leave while I got put back together again. I was so sad about the brevity of that stare down, but happy that daddy had the chance to bond with him immediately. I knew I'd get my time. It took about 30 minutes before I was back in our room with him, but it felt like hours. The nurses stripped me down ( I was pretty weak yet and still numb from the belly button down) and laid my precious little one on me for skin to skin time. This is the moment I had been longing for so long. It was heaven...and he took to breastfeeding so naturally which was a relief.
I'm a mom.

{40 Weeks}

Well, we're officially 40 weeks pregnant and little munchkin is still all snug in this belly. The anticipation of baby boy has been making me feel a surge of emotions that I really just cannot explain. It's been an unreal notion that this was already my first week of maternity leave! After my appointment last week and finding out we were dilated and effaced as much as we were I thought for sure it was only a matter of days, perhaps even hours at the time. But no...here we are, a week later and still towing a belly that is rounder than ever. Not that this upsets me in the least; I know that baby boy will make his grand entrance when he is good and ready to. I read somewhere that practicing patience and allowing baby to come on his own terms is the first act of selflessness as a mother, and creates the foundation for your relationship. I couldn't possibly agree more. The thing is, I found myself feeling guilty for taking this week off before he has even arrived. Though I'm happy I did take the time (weird things have happened this week that I would be MORTIFIED had they happened at work, like peeing myself so much I quite literally thought my water broke), I still found myself feeling an overwhelming sense of guilt. But why? Why did I not feel deserving of a little leisure before a whole new world of beautiful chaos arrived? Surely nobody said anything to make me feel that way. If anything, I've been receiving so many well wishes and good vibe texts/phone calls from coworkers that I could cry with gratitude. So, WHY? Why the sense of anxiousness and feeling like a bum and waking up feeling like I'm doing something wrong? I still don't have the answer. All I know is that I reality checked myself quick by trying to validate those irrational, negative thought processes. And, when I couldn't validate a single one of those nasty, pestering feelings, I finally began to relax. Of course I deserve this time, I've been growing a HUMAN for goodness sakes! And all of mankind knows that once the little bundle is here there is going to be anything but down time available.

So, my advice to all of you mommas, whether you grew your own human, are adopting, or are simply the soon-to-be mother of a fur child, you are so, so deserving of a little calm before the storm (a longed for storm that will be filled with so much love and beauty, of course). Soak. It. Up. Every second you get, and don't you dare feel guilty about it.

With that being said, these past few days have been lovely. I've been going for walks, meditating, bike rides, doing a little soul searching, reading, spending quality time with my furry kids, organizing/cleaning the house and of course, napping (and yes I have done a few reports for work too, but that was inevitable). Sure, I've also been experiencing pregnancy-related incontinence, braxton hicks, and cramping in the midst of it all as well--but that's all part of the process of bringing a little nugget into this world, isn't it. <3

The first photo is of the gorgeous lilacs I picked this week, courtesy of my momma's neighbor's backyard (thanks, Walt!). I could eat them, it's just the most delicious aroma, ever. I keep stealing sniffs from that bottle of Young Living Clary Sage essential oil too! But only sniffs, it's been contraindicated for use during pregnancy, but is said to be wonderful for use in active labor.

I will keep you all updated as soon as we get any action from our little guy!



Bumpdate: 38+3 Weeks

 Diaper Bag: A simple Skip-Hop found HERE at Babies R'Us

Weeks Pregnant: 38 weeks + 3
 

Baby Size: About 6 1/2 lbs. and over 19 inches long, according to Baby Center. They also say that little man has quite a firm grasp by now (which I really cannot wait to test)!

Weight Gain: I've officially hit the 30 lb. mark. Though I really do feel like it's all quite "belly."

Symptoms: Heartburn! A few Braxton Hicks contractions--okay, okay, I pushed myself a little hard one day this week and thought a 9 mile bike ride was a good idea...it wasn't. I was contracting so bad when I got home I truly thought I was going to have our little dude that night. As of right now there is quite a bit of pressure down there. I joke with my co-workers that I feel as though I'm going to have a toilet baby each time I use the restroom! But really...pressure.

Attire: As I stated last time...I just want to be naked. 24/7. But since it's not socially acceptable, leggings and baggy tops, maxi dresses, loose, flowy pieces. Ah and for some reason having hair in my face has just been driving me nuts lately! So I've been rocking the half top-knots/ponies, and all pulled-back look (whether it's cute or not).

Exercise: Walking, biking, light yoga, and meditation. Oh and of course my main squeeze...the stability ball (sorry, babe). There's no words to describe the glorious relief it (briefly) provides me with.

Movement: He's still just a rollin' in there. His tush sticks out right below my sternum, occasionally you just see this round bump pop up out of my belly and it's the strangest thing, yet the cutest, because I know it's his bum! <3

Missing: There's nothing more incredible than caring for something in the most primal way possible. Nourishing him with what I nourish myself with goes back to the basics and the experience of it all has been so beautiful. Though this pregnancy has been absolutely wonderful, and never have I felt more beautiful than while carrying this little nugget...I am ready to have my body back. I'm ready to not feel like my vagina is inside out and like an arm might pop out of my belly button. I'm ready for my back to stop aching and to not feel like a whale when tossing and turning at night. I'm ready for my nipples to go back to their original color (no one tells you about that!) and for these road-map veins to fade. Though these are all signs and the workings of a miracle and I've welcomed each and every wild symptom, I'm ready for our little miracle to be able to be held in our arms, not just my belly.
And my yoga practice, I do miss inversions, so I'm completely excited for the challenge to work my way back to where I was (and beyond!) prior to pregnancy.

Cravings: Green olives. :)

Sleep: Glass half full- all the not sleep I'm getting due to discomfort and urinating like a horse is just a trial run to prep me for the not sleep I'll get with little man!

Mood: Typically upbeat and happy. Some feelings of stress and a little overwhelmed from work and prepping for maternity leave, but overall, feeling great.

Birth Prep: Still focusing on deep breathing and meditation to help ease labor pain. And the hospital bags are packed!: momma's bag, Finn man's  bag, and daddy's bag. We really did pack the bare necessities for each.

Momma's bag:

-Leggings and a baggy going home top

-Toiletries (travel size shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, toothbrush, body wash, body wipes, face wash, moisturizer, hair spray, and lotion).

-Hair ties and pins

-A comfy robe

-Comfy pajamas (pants and camisole)

-Soft slippers

-5 pair of Hanes granny-panties :D

-Dulcolax (I was told it was an absolute MUST for that first, post-partum poo).

-2 nursing bras

-Camera and charger

-Phone charger

 -Crystals I use to meditate with: citrine, malachite, and clear quartz
-Lavender essential oil to calm myself during labor (and I'm waiting for clary sage to arrive that's supposed to help with contractions!).
-Some home-made positive affirmations/quotes of inspiration to help keep my "power" and positivity strong during the process.

(diaper bag featured on top of page)

For my first days home, I also bought the necessary ingredients to make "panty sundaes." Sounds sexy eh'?...it's not. The largest maxi pads you can find + witch hazel + cooling aloe vera + a freezer and you've got girly-parts gold...so I hear, anyway.:)

Oh and this is the fridge-worthy to-do list I created for when the big moment arrives! Number 5 was necessary for hubs (and me too).

What I Am Loving: YAY it's MAY! That we're officially in our son's due date month and will be meeting him (if he's not a stinker that stays in there past 40 weeks) in less than 2 weeks! <3

The day is getting closer and closer! I can't wait to start blogging about the transition from pregnancy to parenthood and testing out all the baby goods! Also, for you Instagrammers out there, make sure you follow @maternitymuse! They literally have the most inspiring and adorable mommies, and it's such a great way to connect with other women who are experiencing pregnancy and parenthood!

Finn's Nursery Details!

I've been so excited to share and post photos of our little dude's nursery! There are still a few details missing that I will add later (e.g. an adorable pillow I ordered off of Etsy), and a little more organization to be done, but other than that, we're so ready for Finn to be here and make good use of this space! "Nesting" has been one of my favorite things throughout this pregnancy thus far. There's nothing like countering the agony of back pain with the sweet smell of his clothes and folding outfits that fit right in my palms. For a quick update, we are currently 36 + 2 weeks pregnant. Our last appointment we were told that I am 50% effaced. With that, she told us it could be any time now, or, I could walk around effaced and dilated for a couple of weeks. It's all up to the little mister at this point. :) But enough of that and on to the nursery goodness!

I LOVE wall art. Some of these prints I found at a little shop in downtown Detroit, and the others I simply downloaded & printed from: http://littlegoldpixel.com/2014/10/free-printables-for-kids/

I'm slightly obsessed with this glider and ottoman. Glider can be found at Babies R'Us and ottoman (and "I love you to the moon" pillow) I found conveniently at T.J.Maxx for $60 & $10!

I'm so excited to try out the Mamaroo swing, I've heard so many wonderful things about it! Obviously, it won't be occupying that corner once Finn man is here. Found at Babies R' Us

 here: http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=54201756. That gorgeous crib is also a Babies R' Us find!

I couldn't be more in love with our dream catcher mobile! I'm all about unique things and supporting small, crafty businesses. Find similar items and other boho lovliness from BlairBaileyDesign on Etsy.com!  

The arrows on the wall are gold vinyl decals from https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheLovelyWall. I was sincerely in awe at how straight/evenly spaced I actually got them! The great thing about them is they peel off super easy, so if you make a mistake just simply peel and re-apply.

{{35 Weeks}}

Weeks Pregnant: 35 weeks + 3
 

Baby Size: Finn man is said to be about 5 1/2 lbs. and over 18 inches long! He's definitely feeling like a melon in my belly! 

 

 

Weight Gain: 24 lbs. so far, baby boy should be packin' on the lbs. himself right now.

 

 

Symptoms: The urges to pee are there and I don't see any signs of that stopping before our babe arrives. My most prominent symptom really is the aching lower back, but again, that's to be expected when your back is suddenly having to support a bowling ball! The itchy skin seems to of stopped (thank goodness), but I'm also obsessively slappin' on oils and lotions (organic coconut oil, Bio-oil, and Palmer's Cocoa Butter). Waddling is a definite, I can't even control it...it's just one of those signature pregnant lady qualities!

Attire: In all honesty, clothes are driving me nuts at this point. If being naked 24/7 was socially acceptable I'd be all over it. I'm refusing to buy any maternity clothes at this point since we are so close to the end (and I'm being a penny pincher!), so anything oversized and even some of John's t-shirts are serving me well!
 

Exercise: Walking, walking, and more walking. Stretching every night and yoga classes every Monday. Right now I'm really focused on meditation and deep breathing.

 

 

Movement: TONS! You can definitely tell there's a human in there! I don't even have to point it out to people anymore, the belly morphing is quite obvious. This morning actually I had the oddest shape to my midsection, it was like he completely curled up in a ball and headed as far down as he could!

 

Missing: You guessed it, still missing a good night's sleep. Bathroom breaks and tossing and turning to find a somewhat comfortable position consume a majority of my nights.

 

Cravings: I've literally been craving LaCroix sparkling waters like no one's business! Oh my goodness they're just so good and refreshing. Yum yum yummmmm!! And now I want one. :)

Sleep: Haha.

Mood: Mood swings (sorry, John). I'm easily irritated despite trying to be as "cool and collected" as possible! Oopsy, it'll pass...right?

 

Birth Prep: Deep breathing as much as possible and started packing our hospital bags! Talk about a dose of reality when you're at that point! :D We're down to weekly doctor visits so I know we'll be delving further into birth plans in the next couple weeks. I'm still planning on a non-medicated birth and learning new mantras to use for inspiration for the big day.

 

What I Am Loving: NESTING! Oh it's so fun, and all of his peanut sized clothes smell so wonderful from detergent (I've been using Dreft, which is just a hypoallergenic baby detergent). It's too crazy to think that in less than 5 weeks, the little man that's been growing inside of me will be OUTSIDE of me. That's quite the obvious statement, really, but only until you actually experience it does the craziness of it all really hit you!

xoxo
Kelsey

Baby Shower Details

 

First of all, I can't believe the shower is already done and over with! It's crazy to me that I am writing this right now and having to think back 3 weeks. Our shower was absolutely wonderful. It's overwhelming the amount of love and spoiling one can get in just a few hours! There are just no words that express the amount of gratitude we have for the people in our lives...we're so, so, grateful. With all of the bump-rubbing, hugs, smooches, well wishes, and birthing stories going on it was really difficult to capture the beauty in all of the décor and details (I have my momma to thank for a lot of those details). Fortunately, some friends snapped a few photos on my camera for me, and the rest of the following photos my wonderful cousin captured for us ((she's great, check out her work on danagphotography.pixieset.com))! The theme was simply "nature," so we had adorable tee-pee and floral centerpieces, succulents galore, hand-made lavender soaps for our thank you gifts, and sticks and baby's breath and balloons, oh my! <3

 

 

 

((Food baby vs. baby baby))

Oh, hi mum!

John just loved getting attention from all the ladies, so he decided to take each gift and walk around the room so everyone got a fair peak at all the goods! ;)

 

Though I couldn't indulge myself, a mimosa bar was absolutely still necessary!

xoxo,

Kelsey